Subject: It can't be May already

Mood: drained and drowning
Music: Limp Bizkit's "No Sex"

I was happy about it being Mikey's birthday yesterday, until I realised that the next day, i.e. today, would be the first day of May. Then I lost it. I screamed and yelled all through the middle of the day. Threw a lot of stuff too. Just so much I have to get done... I'm supposed to have my internship and my practicum all lined up by now, and I have neither all set. I haven't even applied for my practicum yet.

You know, this psych program is a crock! I asked Dr. Toscano about the practicum, since I obviously can't work at a school over the summer. He said just get the internship all settled, that we would find something for the practicum. So I went to him yesterday about it. In short, he told me I'm on my own. He's all laid back about it, acting like it's so easy, when he doesn't seem to give a... crap (I was wanting something stronger) that I have to go through all this freakin work and that I might not make it in time to register. I swear, I am getting so sick of how passive these people are about EVERYTHING. Yeah, they can afford to be that way! It's not THEIR lives that are being affected!

On top of that, I couldn't find my freakin resume, so I had to write it over. I said I wouldn't. I said, if I couldn't find it, I would just quit school and never do anything that required a resume. I so hate writing those things. But I wrote it anyway.

Then I tried to fax over a bunch of stuff to Lowell High... of COURSE that had to screw up too! First we sent it backwards so all they got was blank pages, (hope they don't figure out that was me). When we re-sent it, we couldn't get confirmation on whether they'd received it, cause they'd all freakin gone home for the day! Oh, not to mention the fax line was busy for over twenty minutes just before that!

So yeah, I had a crappy day. But I posted another chapter of "Macysitting", and I got to read some reviews. That made me feel better. I'm pissed that I couldn't spend this day better, 'specially since it was Mikey's birthday and all.

I got through one of my final assignments, the case formulation for cognitive assessment and psychotherapy class. Next, I'm fixing on working on the final paper for family and group counseling class. I am so sick of all this work. I cut class today too. I was too pissed to go, and I would have never got all that junk faxed otherwise. I just ran out of time. Part of the reason was cause I stay up to freakin late... bite me. I have to stay up late. I'm not going to alter my life for something I'm only half-assed about. Yeah, I'm wondering why I'm still in school too, except for the fact that, if I start something, I'm forced to finish it, especially if it involves my parents' money. I swear, I would have quit school so many times otherwise. It's all just a load of garbage.

Yeah, I'm in a chahming mood. I'm just tired and got too much crappola to deal with. But you should know that already from my ranting.

- dj


[real me in...]