Subject: climbing falling

Mood: dumpy
Music: Lifehouse's "Spin", from their new album, Stanley Climbfall

For a bit of time today, things didn't seem all too bad. I got talking with people in ethics class about random junk like when we learned to drive, good malls, and cheap movie theatres. That kind of whateverness talk usually gets me on edge, but really, there's nothing left to protect of me, so what's the point of getting anxious? I just participated in the conversation and found I wasn't apprehensious one bit.

I got an A+ on my midterm take-home exam, which I was glad about, because that means I don't have to work half as hard on the final. Grad school is too lenient if you can get an A+ on a stupid six-page essay. It's not like I invented or even reinvented anything. Just a bunch of legalistic swill.

In the middle of class, I found myself thinking about how I hold my pen. The only other one I've seen hold a writing implement the way I do is one of my current clients, and he's an NLD too. I'm starting to wonder if it's a trait of nonverbal learning disability. I thought about doing a study on it, then figured who really cares how NLDs write. It's not like everything else about the condition's going to change if you can just get the person to write like everybody else.

I started thinking about maybe writing another fanfic as I walked back to my car and pretended to talk to somebody in my head. I also found a rock that I might give one of my clients; she likes to collect rocks. It's in the coin compartment in my car right now. I'll see if somehow I decide against it.

I wouldn't say I was upbeat for a period of time today. I was apathetic, and just kind of hanging in there. As soon as I got in the car though, I started falling back into my funk. I guess what goes up, even if it's not REALLY up, must also come down. Crappy physics.

- dearjoan's shadow

[real me in...]