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Matchbox Eighteen I froze. I clenched my eyes shut and waited for a fist to slam into me. I waited for the attack. Instead, the grip on my collar loosened. I opened my eyes and saw blue lights flashing. The cops! The cops! I love the cops! The biker who held me let go of my shirt, and I laid there on the ground while policemen cuffed them. "Sir," a female officer approached me. Offering a hand to me, she asked, "You okay?" "Yeah," I replied as I took her hand. "Thanks!" She stared at me. Squinting, she asked, "Hey, you’re not... no, couldn’t be. This might be a strange question, but are you Brian of Matchbox Twenty?" I nodded, rubbing my right arm. The officer gasped. "Ah love your music! Y’all are such a talented band!" She turned to the second officer, who was closing the back seat door of the squad car. "Hey, Ronny! You’re ain’t never going to guess who this is!" The second officer sauntered toward us. Keeping his eyes on me, he asked, "Who?" "Matchbox Twenty’s bass player, Brian Yale!" "Hey!" Ronny exclaimed, extending a hand to me. I shook his hand. "Whatcha doin’ here? Matchbox Twenty ain’t touring in South Carolina! Ah know, ‘cause ah wanted to go, but it was way up in Greensboro and ah was on duty that night and couldn’t go!" Behind the officers, I saw the tour bus approaching. It stopped behind the squad car, and Adam and Rob came running out of it. "Brian, man!" Adam exclaimed, reaching me before Rob did. "Are you okay?" I nodded, and the police officers just stared at Adam, then at Rob. Their mouths dropped open. "Ah am so glad ah didn’t call in sick tonight," Ronny smiled. After hanging around with the police officers for several minutes and signing autographs, Adam, Rob, and I stepped back into the tour bus. "Pookie," Adam patted me on the back, "I don’t know how you got such a crazy idea, but that was brilliant! You’re nuts!" I glanced at Rob. Now, with the light in the bus and all the excitement behind us, I noticed how he was dressed. He had on this hole-stricken T-shirt. It had to be at least three sizes to big. The sleeves dangled several inches below his triceps, and the sides ballooned out around his waist. The shirt went all the way to the knees of his jeans. On his feet, he wore his Adidas sneakers, probably the same pair he had on the day that he left. The shoes were the only thing that seemed familiar about him. Even his hair was greasy and his face was filthy. Only a matter of three days, and he looked like this? "Rob, what happened to you?" I asked as we sat down and Adam started up the bus. Rob shrugged and ran his hands through his hair. Lowering his arms, he looked at his hands and cringed. "I woke up, right outside that Exxon," he said, pointing out the window at the gas station as we passed it. "I was just laying there on the ground, outside the bathrooms. And I’m like, where the hell am I? I wandered the place a little. And I got that old feeling back, you know? Of being seventeen again. People... they look at you funny when you’re dressed like this." He looked down at his clothes. "They treat you completely different. Like, if I had walked in there, dressed like I was ready to go on stage, they would have at least respected me, if not recognised me and asked for an autograph. But now..." he laughed. "I don’t know, it’s screwed up! You’re only worth something if you got money, right?" He sat back in his chair. "Hey!" Adam glanced over his shoulder, then returned his gaze to the road. "Tell him what you’ve got!" "Oh!" Rob smiled. He pulled a duffel bag out from under his seat. Unzipping it, he said, "I’ve got some crazy stuff in here!" "He’s got, like, this whole notebook of poetry!" Adam laughed. "Yeah! Apparently, I’ve been very poetic! I’ve got, like, thirty, thirty-five poems here, and I don’t even remember writing them! Think it’s okay to put them to music?" "You’d better!" Adam exclaimed. "Something good is going to come of all of this! That right there, what you’re holding, that’s our next album!" Rob stared down at the notebook and grinned. "I don’t know. They could suck!" He slipped the notebook back into his duffel bag. Digging around inside the bag, he said, "I’ve got this whole sandwich baggie full of those tab things you put on bread bags. Have no idea what I was doing there!" He pulled it out and tossed it on the floor beside the bag. "I got Pez!" Smiling, he held Daffy Duck Pez dispenser beside his face. "Oh! And I have this novel that’s all in Spanish." "Before you left," I informed him, "you were writing in Spanish." "Was I?" "Yeah! Kyle found this piece of paper..." "Hey," Rob looked around. "Where is Kyle and Paul anyway?" Silence. Adam glanced over his shoulder at me, and I sighed. "Paul took Kyle to the hospital," I said. "Kyle’s got bronchitis, and he was having a hard time breathing." "Man!" Rob exclaimed, staring out the window. He reached into the duffel bag and retrieved a pack of Camels and a lighter. Pulling a cigarette from the carton, he asked, "Is he okay? Can we go see him?" "We don’t know where the ambulance took him," Adam replied from the driver’s seat. "He went there in an ambulance?!? Man!" Rob lit his cigarette and took a drag. "Does Matt know about all of this?" he spoke through a puff of smoke. I shrugged. "Paul called him Tuesday morning, but I don’t think he’s spoken to him since. Kyle wasn’t doing so bad then. I think Matt just knows about your disappearance." Rob rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. Lowering his hands, he said, "Guys, I’m really sorry ‘bout all this." He wrapped his arms around his torso and gazed out the window. I noticed that he was shivering. "You hungry?" I asked him. "A little," he shrugged, taking a drag of his cigarette. "There’s a McDonald’s coming up," Adam announced. Grimacing, Rob said, "I don’t have any money." "No problem," Adam replied with a smile. "I’ll shout." "You’ll shout?!?" I laughed. "Picking up a little Australian, are we?" "I just like that one!" The tour bus glided down the exit ramp. Adam was taking it much slower this time, probably too slow, going about thirty or something. Didn’t matter; there was nobody behind us anyway. "What’s everybody want?" Adam asked as we approached the drive-thru speakers. "Fries," I replied. "An apple pie," Rob smiled. Adam rolled down his window. "Cokes?" We both nodded. "Okay," Adam turned to the speakers. "Oh! They got Pokemon!" "Would you like to try one of our extra value meals today?" a metallic voice blared over the speakers. "Uh, no ma’am!" Adam called out the window. "I’d like a hamburger Happy Meal..." Rob laughed. "A Happy Meal, Adam?" "Shut up! I want Pokemon!" "Would you like an apple pie with that?" the mechanical voice asked. "Yes, actually! And I’d also like a large fry and three medium Cokes!" Pause. "Okay, your total is..." Static. "It’s what?" Static. "Please drive around." Shrugging, Adam turned to Rob. "Hey, can you get my money? It’s in an envelope in my blue travel bag." Rob nodded and wandered to the back of the bus. Adam approached the drive-up window, where a young lady in her twenties greeted him. Her hair was tied back, but errant curls sprung out of her scrunchie and framed her beaming face. "Hey there!" she stared at Adam. "You know, you look awfully familiar! Are you Adam Gaynor from Matchbox Twenty?" Laughing, Adam replied, "You know, I get that a lot, actually!" "Because you are or because you look like him?" "Both, actually." The young woman put her hands over her face and leapt into the air. Her curls bounced and settled when she landed. "No way!" "Hey, Adam!" Rob called from the back of the bus. "I can’t find your money!" "It might be up front, in my jacket pocket or something." The girl gasped. "Is that... Rob Thomas?!?" "No!" Adam replied with a chuckle. "That’s my kid brother... Stewy!" Stewy? Rob mouthed the name as he approached me. He grabbed Adam’s jacket and sat down. "He sounds nothing like Rob! What are you thinking?" Adam turned around and faced Rob with a huge smile. "Hey, Stewy! You find the money?" "No, stupid!" Rob exclaimed in a high pitched squeal. I covered my mouth and laughed into my hand. "He’s the one getting the Happy Meal," Adam told the girl. Shaking his head, he added, "The only way I can get that kid to behave is to bribe him!" "Well..." the girl furrowed her eyebrows. Leaning out the window, she asked, "Can I see him?" Adam shook his head. "No, no! He’s... he’s not good around strangers. He’ll fuss and he’ll pull at your earrings... He’s really a brat!" "Oh, I see." She stepped back from the window. A minute later, she returned with a drink tray. Passing it to Adam, she said, "Here’s your food! Don’t worry; I’ll pay for it." Grinning, Adam said, "Well, thank you..." "Mary Beth," she replied. "Thanks, Mary Beth!" "It was nice to meet you, Adam! You’re much cuter in real life! You’re such a doll!" Accepting the drink tray, Adam smiled. "Why, thank you!" She handed him the bag with the fries. "Tell Rob, or Stewy, that I said hi! And please say hi to whoever else is really in there!" Adam stared at her wide-eyed as he accepted the McDonald’s bag. Next, she handed him the Happy Meal bag. "And enjoy your Happy Meal, Adam! Hope you like your Pokemon!" Mary Beth waved as we drove away. |