Subject: all I ever wanted was your life

Mood: elated
Music: That song off RHCP's new album where I took the topic from

I was miserable earlier today. I've been pissy a lot lately. Maybe it's the weather or depression or pressures of schoolwork and internship, but whatever it is, it's brought me DOWN

DOWN

DOWN

But now it's not like that anymore. I sat there this evening, trying to think about what I've been dwelling upon. What is it that's so pathetic about my life? How am I a failure, as my current mantra suggests? Tried SO HARD to even remember what it was that bothered me so horribly, and I couldn't. I just sat there with my friends, taking in the world inside the living room, the lights and the sounds and the scents and the music. The movements and the people, the breeze from the fan and the dancing ribbon over it. There's such beauty and wonderment in the little things, things that have gone unnoticed while I'm hanging my head and grousing about my life, about what I'm not doing and all the things I feel that I MUST do. Tonight though, I ignored matters that usually matter to me, and let other things take over.

I don't ever remembering being so happy. And honest. And free.

- dearjoan

[real me in...]